Quite a good book. I really enjoy her writing style. It was a fantastic book. But not a short book by any means. Our library only had the book in large print - so it was 637 pages. Wow. I have to say though it was hard to put down. I finished it in 3 days. It was very good. I was up late the last few nights reading though. Great mommy alone time!
It is a great story about 2 women who grow up together and are best friends. As they go through the stages of life they are their for each other, supportive of each other, encouraging each other and just friends - there for each other. I personally have found this hard to find. I had one very good friend from grade school. When I moved back after my husband and I got married, I was so excited to be back where she was living. Yet, it seemed that she never had time for me. I think we had just grown in different ways and the friendship worked long distance but those differences became too apparent when living in the same town. The break occurred when I lost a child. I had a miscarriage but I was in the second trimester. I had to go through delivery and we buried our son on my mom's gravesite. (It was such a little casket - that there was room. My mom wants to be cremated and so she offered up the spot for us. It was a relief to know he is with family - mom isn't there but other family relatives are close by.) Anyway, my so called friend heard about my loss but didn't call. When I finally called her she admitted knowing but felt I should be left alone. Didn't want to intrude on my grief. Really???? Is that a friend???? Honestly, I wanted and needed a shoulder to cry on. My friend was a nurse in the neonatal of a major hospital here. Plus she herself struggled to get pregnant. I would think she would have more compassion and caring for someone suffering a loss such as I did. Nope! No card, no call, no caring, no concern. I kind of figured - what was the point of the friendship. So I have never called her back.
I was amazed that the two women in this book were able to maintain a close friendship for 30 years - through the ups and downs of life. They are very different women with different goals. Yet, they seemed to understand and respect the other.
One of the women was very career orientated but then felt like she was 'missing out' on having a family - missing love and children. She felt very lonely even in a crowd. The other one was a stay at home mom but she often felt like she lived for her family and never got time for herself. It is sad but often it seems that no matter what route we as women take - the grass seems greener on the other side and we feel like we are missing something.
I do like this quote from the book. It is regarding Kate - the woman that was the stay at home mom. ""I love, you Mommy." Marah said. To the world at large, perhaps this was an ordinary moment in an ordinary day, but to Kate it was extraordinary. This was the reason she'd chosen to stay home instead of work. She judged the meaning of her life in nanoseconds, perhaps, but she wouldn't trade this instant for anything." p. 424
Being a stay at home mom I could really relate. It is the every day moments that matter - the being there to bandage the skinned knee, reading books together, making their favorite meals and watching them laugh and play. It is very rewarding but still there are those moments when we feel like life is passing us by. The book was very thought provoking --- about the role of women - in each other's lives and in the world at large.
2 comments:
Sounds like an interesting book. So sorry about your friend not being there for you in such a difficult time. How long ago was the miscarriage?
Yes I too was really surprised by her lack of compassion especially in light of the fact that she had difficulty conceiving herself. She had to do artificial insemination. Plus she is a nurse dealing with premies - so you would think she would be more sympathetic and understand of the loss. But not at all. It really saddened me but I also realized she was a "some times friend" - the kind that are sometimes there but that some time is usually only if it is sunny out - a chance of rain drives them away. Sometimes friends. The miscarriage was about 5 years ago. I actually had two of them within a year of each other but the one that was most traumatic for me was the one where I was further along into my second trimester. We had already heard the heartbeat at 12 weeks and just weren't anticipating trouble. Thank you for asking.
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